So you decided to quit porn. Congratulations on your decision. This will change your life. I can assure you that from personal experience.

In case you are not familiar with what a sexual reboot and what the PMO habit chicly is I would highly recommend you to start at the introduction here. This will highly increase your chances to be successful in your endeavor.

If you have already ready the introductions, let’s start with the first of the eight necessary steps to quit porn once and for all that I learned the hard way.

1) Know Why

It all starts with why. Why do you want to quit porn? First and foremost it’s important to understand why you want to do it because this will be your compass on your journey. If you don’t know where you want to go, it’s easy to get lost.

In the end, this is something you have to decide for yourself but it’s likely that it’s quite similar to why most people here want to quit porn. There is a saying. All you want is sex, but all you have is porn. And that might be true for most of us.

So your reason might be to have better sexual experiences in the future and that’s a perfectly fine reason. Sex is after all a fundamental part of life so why would you want to waste it on unfulfilling experiences.

So let’s assume better sexual experiences is your goal. This will become your mission statement for your journey. Having such a specific goal is important simply because whenever it gets tough, this will be a reminder why you do it in the first place.

When we quit porn to have better sexual experiences in the future we trade instant gratification for delayed gratification and that can be tough at times.

Now some might argue that better sexual experiences is quite vague. That’s okay for now. Probably everyone has a subjective interpretation of what better sexual experiences mean.

You might not be able to phrase it in words yet but you don’t have to. It’s okay to have a vague feeling at this point. Later in the journey will carve out what better sexual experiences means for everyone and each of us more in detail through techniques such as visualization.

2) Understand the Science

In order to fight a battle, you have to know your enemy and in this case it’s your biology.

Knowledge about what is going on in your brain and understanding the mechanics of your mind will lead to self-knowledge which will result in self-awareness, our strongest weapon in this battle.

That’s why I highly recommend to read about the science behind porn addiction and porn-induced erectile dysfunction over the course of the next couple of days.

Get the eBook Your Brain On Porn and learn about yourself.

3) Lose Your Porn

This is probably the most obvious step but can be though for some guys who spent years collecting and sorting porn files on their computer but there is absolutely no way you can do a reboot with having porn files accessible.

So, if you have any porn files now is the time to delete them from all your hard drives on all your devices and make sure to empty the trash bin afterwards. They really need to be unrecoverably deleted because there is no room for compromises here if you are serious about your decision.

It might be hard but it will be worth it and it’s not only a strong symbol for your commitment but there is a good chance that along with it may come a feeling of freedom.

4) Restrict Your Access to Porn

Porn is abundant on the internet and especially at the beginning it’s easy to relapse when we accidentally stumble upon pornographic content. So it’s a good idea to reduce these chances by install a web filter on the computer where we used to watch porn.

The one I’d recommend is called K9 Web Protection. It’s free and easy to set-up. Just download it from this website and follow the instructions.

During the installation process you have to set-up an administrator password. I recommend creating your own at the beginning until you fine tuned the filter properly to your needs. This can take two or three days.

After you fine tuned the filter, ask a friend to chose a new password which only he knows and have your password replaced with it by him. This will prevent you from disabling the web filter in moments of weakness.

When configuring the filter, make sure to chose “Costume” in the “Web Categories to Block” section and at least chose “Pornography” and “Nudity” but you can also add other categories like “Phishing” or “Malware” as an extra bonus.

K9 Web Filter

Then you can further fine tune the filter in the “Web Site Exceptions” section. There you have two options. You can add add specific websites to the block list or always allow them.

I would recommend adding websites to the block list that might not specifically be labeled pornographic but where you have encountered pornographic content in the past such as Tumblr or chat and dating sites. Add them all to the “Always Block” section.

In case you might need a website that falls under any of the blocked categories that you really need for your job e.g., you can add it to the “Always Allow” section. But this is only recommended if you really depend on it.

Additionally I would recommend disabling the “K9 Safe Search” completely because it’s not necessary but rather annoying.

And always remember, a web filter can only be a security net and never a solution but it might protect us from our impulses in moments when we run low on willpower.

5) Train Your Mind

I already sensed it at the beginning of my first reboot that the mind will play an important role but I definitely underestimated it’s importance. The brain is the biggest sex organ after all and it’s also where any addiction resides.

So I want to give you the opportunity to get a head start compared to me last time and urgently recommend to start daily meditation from today on. The skills you’ll gain through meditation will become one of your strongest skills not only in the process of quitting porn but also in becoming a Sex God.

I don’t want to get into much detail here since I’ll tackle on this topic in connection with becoming a Sex God a bite more in detail in the next couple of weeks but what I want to recommend to you is a meditation service called Headspace. I have used it for more than a year now and it’s simply amazing.

It’s a guided meditation course that you can download as an app or listen to on your computer. The great part is that every session is individually recorded so you won’t listen to the same recording over and over again. It starts easy with just 10 minutes a day for the first 10 days and works it’s way up to 20 minutes a day. Plus Andy does a great job in explaining meditation simple and easy.

Since it’s a great product it’s not for free. You can download the first 10 days for free though and decide for yourself if it’s for you. After that it will cost about 70 € ($80) for a one-year subscription. This sounds a lot but believe me, it will be one of the best investments you’ll make for your future.

In case you don’t want to go with Headspace there is tons of books and other resources out there. I already described a fairly simple meditation practice for my last reboot which I wrote about here.

6) Track Your Progress

One important aspect for me became tracking my progress during my last reboot. It simply makes your progress visible which works as a fuel both for your motivation as well as your will power and can become a resource of strength in moments of weakness.

This is why I created a PDF for the upcoming 28 days that you can download and print out. I recommend putting it somewhere where you’ll see it every day like next to your computer or on a drawer in your bedroom.

28 Days No PMO Challenge Tracking Sheet Preview

The best time of day to mark down your progress is actually in the morning. So e.g. when I didn’t watch porn and masturbate on January 1st I would mark the first day in the morning of January 2nd. I also like to mark the days in colors. For a successful day, I color the box with a green marker and if I fail, which hopefully happens rarely or better never, I mark it with a red one.

Let me briefly get into what happens when you should relapse. Don’t panic and most importantly don’t beat yourself up over it. Rome wasn’t build on one day. It’s important to treat it for what it is, a slip. Just make sure if you relapse to not give up or reason since you relapsed once that day you can PMO a second or third time. This can happen easily and it’s fatal because it triggers the PMO habit cycle.

In the long run, we are going for the streak count, the consecutive days without PMO, but when you relapse, your streak count goes back to 0. This can be discouraging and this is why I built in a simple psychological mechanism to counterbalance it.

As you might have noticed, there are empty boxes on the right end of every row and one at the very bottom that is again subdivided. What I want you to do at the end of the 28 days is to enter your highest streak count, this means the highest amount of consecutive green boxes, into the bottom subdivision of the empty box at the bottom.

At the end of every week I want you to add the number of how many green boxes you collected that week in the according empty box on the right side. This is not a streak count. This means every green box counts. So when you didn’t watch porn or masturbate once in a given week, enter the number seven.

At the end of the 28 days, just add up all numbers and you’ll get a sum total that you put in the upper part of the subdivided box at the bottom.

The reason behind this is, when your streak count might only be 10 e.g. because you relapsed at three days, you can easily get discouraged to keep going since our journey won’t be over after the 28 days but will continue all the way to 120 days.

So to make it easier on you to get up, dust yourself off and keep going in case of a relapse you get a sum total of how many days you didn’t watch porn and masturbate. Although you only might have a streak count of 10, you have collected a sum total of 25 green days which is most likely a major success compared to PMO every day.

So when we’ll start the next 30 days with chapter two, you have a streak count and a sum total of green days that will be your measuring point in a competition with your self from a month ago.

Additionally I added three more information fields on the PDF where you can jot down your start and end date. And an information field where you can write down your mission statement so that you can have a look at it every day.

7) Reward Yourself

In order to change a habit we need to keep ourselves motivated and we do that by setting milestones where we’ll reward ourselves. That’s why I built in a reward system at key milestone days on the tracking PDF. I marked them with a star.

The first time I did a reboot I noticed that the first day was the easiest but nevertheless for people who masturbate daily and some even multiple times a day even one day can be a milestone. Whether it felt easy or hard reward yourself on the second day.

The other milestones are at the three days threshold, the seven days threshold, the 14 days threshold and obviously at the end of the 28 days.

A reward can really be anything that you enjoy but make sure to not chose anything that might trigger you to masturbate again. My personal recommendation is a social activity.

Invite a family member or friend out to go see a movie, a concert, or a theater play or have dinner, do a sport together or go dancing. Really anything that you can enjoy doing with another person or in a group.

This way, it’s not even more fun but will also help you to slowly decrease social anxiety, in case it has become a side effect of heavy porn consumption.

What I do is I always decide on the reward for the next upcoming milestone in advance and write it in the little box. This way I make it tangible and have something to focus on for the next couple of days. I of course reward myself only if all the boxes between the last and the upcoming milestone have been colored green.

8) Join a Community

What I also learned from my last reboot is that it’s easier to go on a journey with someone else. Sometimes we’ll feel lonely and isolated which will make it a lot harder to keep the focus on our goal and it’s in situations like these that a community of people who fight the same battle can become our strongest weapon.

This does not mean to take every step together. Sometimes we want to go a couple of miles on our own so we can get in touch with ourselves again, and that’s important, but it’s also good to know that there is someone when we are in need.

Although this page has a commenting functionality, I decided to open up a room on Facebook Rooms which should become a space for what I call the Sex God Tribe and where we can share thoughts and experiences and can turn to each other when we have questions or are unsure.

I decided on Facebook Rooms because it allows a steady stream of communication similar to a Facebook Group with the difference that you don’t need to join the conversation with your public Facebook profile since this might be uncomfortable for some people. This means within the Sex God Tribe you can chose to be 100% anonymous.

If you want to joint the Sex God Tribe on Facebook Rooms just hunt down the app on the App Store for your cell phone or download it via http://rooms.me. You can then join the tribe through the following invite QR code:

sexgodprojecttribe

You’ll find more information on how to join a room in the Facebook Rooms app itself. And of course, feel free to share the invite code with anyone who might be interested in joining.

If you don’t want to join the Sex God Tribe, you can always buddy up with a friend and do it offline or join another online community such as the Subreddit NoFap or the Your Brain Rebalanced community.

Stay Connected

The only thing remaining for me to say at this point is if you haven’t done so yet, I would recommend you to subscribe to the Sex God Project Newsletter in the sidebar (or at the bottom if you view this page on a mobile device) and follow the Sex God Project on Facebook to not miss any of my upcoming blog posts and additional content I’ll share.

In this spirit, good luck on your first steps to become a Sex God.