After I relapsed three weeks ago, as described in my blog post Becoming a Sex God is Like Becoming Spiderman, I started a new phase of 8 weeks (56 days) divided into two parts. Dividing it into two parts has to do with my exercising routines. The first four weeks I’ll do core training followed by a basic full body muscle building routine starting the second four weeks before I will work out different areas of my body individually to sculpt my body to my vision of a Sex God . Besides these two exercising routines, I am also currently working on building up my energy system through interval endurance training. I will write about all of these aspects more in detail over the next couple of weeks.
Additionally to that, I stick to my health and nutrition principals, meditate eight minutes a day plus no porn and no masturbation. This time it was even easier to start than it was the last time. I am not really interested in porn at all to begin with and it slowly starts to show that I will abandon porn for good, at least in the way I used to use it.
My brain chemistry seems to slowly normalize itself again. It’s really a great feeling and I do have so much more energy. I haven’t been more creative and productive than in the last two months. I believe this will even increase over the next couple of months fueling my professional endeavors. This is definitely a win-win.
I do allow myself the possibility of actual sex because I slowly want to start sensitizing my brain to the real deal again, especially now that it finally starts to abandon porn. I won’t seek out actual sexual intercourse actively yet though. There are also some interesting scientific facts and ancient wisdom I stumbled upon that might come in handy for finding the right balance during the process of sensitizing my brain and for later on.
THE REFRACTORY PERIODE AND TAOIST WISDOM
While doing some research on the topic of sexual energy and libido, I stumbled upon a medical term called “refractory period” which basically is “a period of time during which an organ or cell is incapable of repeating a particular action, or (more precisely) the amount of time it takes for an excitable membrane to be ready for a second stimulus once it returns to its resting state following an excitation.” (Wikipedia) This means after a man ejaculates he won’t be able to go a second time right away. I am sure there are some exceptions, but usually it takes a couple of minutes up to a couple of hours or even days depending on age and health.
Charles Runels compared this “sexual energy” and its “tank” to a bladder. After you emptied your bladder you are unable to urinate again right away. It might take a couple of minutes before you can urinate again. Metaphorically speaking, that’s the concept of the refractory period. But, just because you can urinate again, it doesn’t mean your bladder is full again. And the same is true for the tank of your sexual energy. This is where the sexual wisdom of ancient Taoism comes in handy.
In Taoism there is a concept of a sexual energy cycle for men. One cycle is the time it takes to fully fill your tank with sexual energy after ejaculation. This is tight to the concept of Qi, which represent life energy, but that would be too difficult to explore thoroughly here. So, every time you ejaculate it deprives the body of energy. That’s why we become sleepy right after it. The french call an orgasm even “La petite mort” which means “little death”.
So to fully recharge your body sexually, it needs a certain amount of time to do that. You can calculate your cycle by dividing your age by 5. In my case this would be 5,6. This means my body needs five and a half days to fully recharge itself after ejaculating. This is a rough calculation and can be shorter or longer depending on different lifestyle choices such as nutrition, consumption of alcohol, etc.
I believe that my refractory period is a bit shorter because last time I ejaculated I made a very interesting observation. I noticed that the sensation on my penis felt differently after I ejaculated than it did before. It became kind of hyper sensitive. It’s kind of a mixture between pleasure and pain. This sensation gradually changed over the next couple of days until it reached a normal state of sensitivity again. This took about three days. So a good bet might be to count with a cycle of four days for myself at the moment.
So, for me to properly sensitize my brain in the future without depleting myself of sexual energy, I will avoid to ejaculate two times within four days. This doesn’t mean I can’t have sex within four days, I simply avoid ejaculating two times within that given time period. But separating sex from orgasm and orgasm from ejaculation is a different complex subject matter that I will look into later.
By becoming aware of the refractory period and the sexual energy cycle, I also started to grasp the complex interaction between artificial (mental) arousal, especially through porn, and physical arousal and how artificial arousal overrides physical arousal thus can desensitize the penis through hyper stimulation. It all starts to make sense now and the dots start to connect. In the end, it’s really becoming aware of one’s body and his signals.
GOING FULLY PHYSICAL NOW
Although I was a big evangelist for the digital habit tracking solution Lift at the beginning, I gradually started to abandon it over time. (Some of you might have wondered). This has to do with the fact that I switched back to a physical approach with pen and paper simply for the fact that it’s constantly visually present in my room (and not only when I open the app) plus it allows me to better perceive things in perspective and relation to each other, which I believe is very important for this endeavor.
Equalizing the subjective distortion, that has gradually been established over the last couple of years, is the fundamental goal. I now have a chart where I color code my progress by marking it red when I ejaculated or blue when I didn’t, as well as my meditation and exercising progress.
I already favor this approach over the digital version because the haptic approach and constant visual reminder generates a feeling of accomplishment. If you struggle with the digital version or have even abandoned it already, I would definitely recommend you trying this approach as well.
Have you ever been aware of your refectory period or even of your sexual energy cycle?