Last weekend, I attended my first expert conference. The topic was „Old and New Frontiers of Sexuality”. The conference was hosted by Courage, a psychosocial helpdesk here in Vienna, and the Austrian Society of Sexology. It was an intense two days conference that not only taught me a lot but sparked many thoughts.
What I particularly liked was that I finally got technical terms for what I have been dealing with and talking about for the last three years here on this blog. The most essential concept that resonated with me though is called „Neosexual Revolution. It’s a term coined by German psychiatrist and sexologist Volkmar Sigusch and has nothing to do with the mainstream term describing a countermovement to metrosexuality.
The Neosexual Revolution, which tipped approximately in the late 1990s, freed sexuality from a morality that labels e.g. certain relationship models, fetishes, behaviors, … as inferior, flawed or even perverted. Instead of judging these different expression of sexuality, the Neosexual Revolution introduce the so called consensus morality. This basically means that everything is allowed and ok as long as it is consensual by all parties involved. This of course only applies to people who have the mental ability/maturity to make such a decision, which excludes e.g. minors, animals and people with mental disabilities.
Freeing sexuality in such an enormous way was on the one hand highly liberating and necessary in order to depathologize e.g. certain likings and fetishes that obeyed an ideologized morality, but on the other hand, sexuality kind of lost its drive. Freud’s sexual drive theory was only possible because sexuality was regulated, pathologized and/or criminalized and thus repressed.
In a world where we no longer have to repress our sexuality and can express it at virtually any time in an almost abundant amount of different ways, it kind of loses its drive. This means, we are no longer seeking relive (orgasm) from a repressed sexual drive but we are rather searching for arousal itself now, which decreases and sometimes even gets lost in the process. This certainly fits perfectly with my personal experiences and the observation that we no longer are looking so much to orgasm when we watch porn online but rather are looking for arousal itself and try to keep it up for as long as possible. This phenomenon is called edging.
This alone was a major shift in human sexuality but along with it came what is best known as the saying „Oversexed and Underfucked“. We are constantly confronted with sexuality on different planes of every day life and at the same time we are unable to talk openly and honestly about our sexuality and express what we really want and need. I even believe that more often than not, we don’t even know what we want and what we need in the first place which adds another layer of difficulty on top of all that.
This means, one of the goals to counter balance this imbalance in postmodern sexuality is to first of all find the authentic sexual self. This means to become aware of your personal sexual wants and needs. This I believe can only be achieved by becoming quite (stopping to masturbate and watch porn e.g.) und starting to listen to our impulses, sensations and feelings, when we are intimate with someone else or ourselves.
And second of all, to bring arousal back possibly through a mindful kind of intentional chastity which includes but I believe is more than “just” a PMO Reboot. This of course shouldn’t be confused with religious or ideologized moral motivated chastity. The point is not to repress sexuality again, which we already did until the end of modernity, but rather to sensitize ourselves and recharge our sexual energy and along with it arousal.
Listening to and grasping this concepts excited me tremendously because for the first time I started to see the bigger picture and a possible direction in which I want to take the Sex God Project in the future. I am currently in the process of jotting down and organizing my thoughts and ideas. One of the first steps will probably be to become a member of the Austrian Society of Sexology and to further educate myself, possibly even study, the causes and effects of the Neosexual Revolution in order to create a vision for a possible post-postmodern sexuality – a kind of metamodern sexuality.